Many of the people I work with take their jobs way too seriously. I just don’t understand.

What our company and employees do isn’t necessary. Sure, the revenue generated is important to the success of the company and determines whether or not there is enough money to pay our salaries- but it’s not crucial to the continued existence of the human race or the planet.

We don’t save lives. We don’t help improve people’s lives.  We don’t create a positive impact on the environment.  We don’t protect people.

The world would not stop spinning if our company went out of business today.

So why do these people think the mundane paperwork, arbitrary deadlines and unproductive meetings are so damned important? Because I work with mostly Baby Boomers. Their job IS their life. If you ask most Baby Boomers what they do, they will answer with their Job Title, Company Name and how long they’ve worked at that company or in that field.

If you ask me what I do, I would answer with what I like to do outside of my job.  My job is just something I do to make a little money to pay for the things I really want to do…write books, travel, spend time with my wife and kids, pursue my academic interests and occasionally veg out in front of the TV.

My co-workers have their work email sent to their phones and are constantly available for work. I refuse to check my work email when I am away from work. I have work time and I have personal time- they are not combined.  I need this distinct separation for my sanity.

I appreciate how dedicated my co-workers are to their jobs, but I wish they would take a step back and realize it’s not that important…it doesn’t REALLY matter.

I do the work I am assigned to the best of my ability, but I am not going to freak out over some insignificant problem that can easily be resolved tomorrow. Your lack of preparation and attention to detail is not my mess to clean up.  I’ll gladly help you…as long as it’s during work time.

If want to be a leader, then act like one. Lead by example, not by issuing orders. Don’t ask the people you lead to do something you’re not willing to do yourself.

If you want your people to stay late to work on a project, then you shouldn’t leave early because you already made plans.

If you want your people to fill out paperwork completely, then you shouldn’t ask someone else to fill out your paperwork because you think you’re too busy.

If you want your people to be excited about their work, then you shouldn’t complain about your responsibilities or delegate the work you don’t want to do.

If you want your people to observe deadlines, then you shouldn’t turn things in late just because you’re in charge.

The “do as I say, not as I do” mentality does NOT work in today’s workplace. You’re not their parent, dictator or king- you’re their leader. True leaders lead by example and, in doing so, earn the respect of those they lead.

I have an issue with one of the rules in the movie Gremlins. Even though it was a great movie and a cool concept…something has never added up for me..even when I was a kid.

Since you are told you can’t “feed them after midnight”…being the smartass I am, I’d have to ask the old guy if he’s talking about midnight in Asia (since that’s where the creatures are supposedly from) or midnight where they happen to be at the moment.

Don’t laugh…just follow along with me on this.  If it’s the latter- I’d have another question since Time Zones were created by humans…how does a Mogwai know what Time Zone they’re in or if that specific area uses Daylight Savings Time?

Just sayin…

The whole “don’t get them wet” thing also bothers me a bit…but I’ll save that for another post.

I’m having a hard time even knowing where to begin with this rant. I’m PISSED about PISS! Specifically- Dog Piss!

My kids and wife begged and pleaded with me to get a dog. For years I refused. I let them have some fish and even a ferret, but I refused to let them have a dog.  At some point last year, they managed to find me at a weak moment and I let them get one.  But I told them- I would NOT take care of their dog.  I would not give it water or feed it because it’s their job.  I would not bathe it because it’s their job.  And the list of things I would NOT do went on and on…

It’s not that I don’t like or hate dogs, I’ve just had my fill of them.  At one point growing up, my parents had over a dozen dogs (they were half Rottweiler and half Chow) in our house AT THE SAME TIME.  I’m pretty sure this has something to do with it.  These HUGE dogs shedding all the time, the nasty smell, constantly having to watch out for dog crap…it ruined my desire to ever have a dog again.

We ended up with a dog that’s half Chihuahua and half Terrier.  She’s small and we haven’t had any big issues with her until now.  But I’ve never been so mad at a pet as I was last night.  The stupid dog pissed in my bed.  Not on my wife’s side of the bed, of course, but on MINE.  I came to bed late and was really tired and ready to get some sleep. I slid into bed ready to stretch out…but my leg hit something wet and I completely freaked out.  I lifted the covers to find a big, nasty, smelly puddle of dog piss on my side of the bed.  My wife had been sleeping for a couple of hours already.  She didn’t know the dog had done it.  She acted like it was no big deal.  Well of course it wasn’t to her- it wasn’t on her side of the bed!

She even tried to get me to just cover it with a towel and just lay down. I know it was late and she was woken from a deep sleep by her bitching husband…but lay down on it? Was she fucking insane? Absolutely NOT!

I ended up sleeping on the couch because their stupid ass dog pissed in the bed. I was pissed off then…and I’m still pissed off about it.  The little shit has completely lost her freedom at night…she now has a specific area to sleep that is blocked off so she can’t get out.  She is no longer welcome to sleep in our room…ever!

I had complained about her letting the dog sleep in the bed in the first place…but she didn’t understand and blew me off.  Now I think she gets it. I’m just mad it took the dog pissing in the bed to make her understand.

At what point did pets start becoming more than just pets?  They’re not humans…they don’t need to eat our food, sleep in our bed and have all the other comforts that we enjoy.  They are animals and deserve to have food, water, a few toys and some attention…but give me a break!

So yeah- I’m PISSED about PISS!

I got my census form in the mail last week.  I barely remember filling one of these things out in 2000.   They have that big media campaign talking about it taking 10 minutes to fill out the 10 questions on the form.  I guess the government thinks everyone is either slow or illiterate because I did it in about 5 minutes.  Do they think there’s a learning curve to fill out names and birthdates?

I know some not-completely-legal immigrants are afraid to fill the form out because they think government agents will come knocking at their door to take them away.  This is stupid.  Even though they may not be citizens, chances are their children are.  So by NOT filling the form out, their local cities and schools will not get as much money as they should because the census numbers are completely inaccurate.

Our government agencies do not work well together.  Do these people actually believe the census bureau people care?  They don’t!  Please fill out the sheet.  You don’t have to provide Social Security numbers or other personal information.  You give them your name and your brithdate…that’s it.

Please do not let unsubstantiated FEAR paralyze you!